Tiny White Flowers

Tiny White Flowers

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Artist's Way Journal - Week Four, Day Seven

This one is going to be short.  My family and I went to a church retreat over the weekend, and which I enjoyed it, and have always looked forward to it every year, this year was not the best.  I'm fatigued from the middle night blood sugar checks, and keeping on top of the carb/insulin situation.  Doing this meant I could no longer let DS totally run free with the pack of boys, but have regular check-ins.  He couldn't just eat wherever/whenever he wanted to, and I had to follow at a distance with our carb book, and make guesstimates about cafeteria waffles and the evening's pasta dinner.  This shouldn't be so bad, but it's hard!!!!!   

On top of it all, DH is feeling the reality of having a 13 yr-old with diabetes, and worrying about the long-term ramifications of this disease.  I know for a fact that a person can have a good life and be active if they are wise with their treatment plan.  My friend who has had Type 1 for 29 years seems to be doing quite well.  And eating better than she might if she didn't have diabetes.

Moon over the dry grass

So, tonight's writing will be short.  I haven't even finished Ch. 3, let alone Ch. 4, and our group will start Ch. 5 tomorrow!!!  So, I'm going to read until I fall asleep, and see where I get to.  I must remind myself that this isn't my only opportunity with the Artist's Way--I can do this again, and hopefully be more on track with it.  But, I do plan to stick with the program as long as life allows.  

The weather for the retreat was beautiful.  If I hadn't been so wiped out and weepy this morning, I would have had my camera for the service on the beach this morning.  Yesterday the sky was very blue, and the autumn colors strikingly beautiful.  This morning the clouds had rolled in a bit, and beneath this grey curtain the sun burned white hot on the water, or so it seemed.  Truthfully the air was crisp--just this side of bearable through my thin layer of fleece and jean jacket.    

DH didn't want to go to the service; didn't want anything too touchy feely.  It wasn't.  It was nice.  I talked with a good friend, and watched the kids and toddlers playing in the sand while the service was going on.  Out on the water some distance away four otters swam.  The ferry that went Port Townsend to Whidbey Island was littler than usual.  Actually, the older ones were replaced out of necessity, and it is mostly required that one makes reservations to cross.  

I was sad about DH not going, but I do understand.  I almost didn't go either.  DS did go; he spent much of the retreat with friends, and I was glad for that.  He needed that, and they had a good time.  One particular friend took quite an interest in DS's diabetes, and wanted to learn more about it.  DH has been quieter, and I think he's projecting into the future with concerns about how the disease will affect internal organs, lifespan, feet, and overall quality of life.  We both agreed that if a cure were possible in time, we'd go for whatever it took to make it happen for DS in a heartbeat.   

Yesterday I walked with my good friend, and it was really good to talk with her.  I don't get to spend a lot of time with friends, and it's such a good thing to do.  So important in so many ways to share all sorts of things.  We walked just about to the lighthouse and back, and ran into DH, who took a walk on his own.  Later DH and I walked down to the beach and attempted to read and sleep in the sand.  I nearly did sleep, even though the cool sand and driftwood felt hard under my hips, and was eventually brought back to reluctant wakefulness by my cell phone buzzing in my ear--a call from DD wondering where we were.


GF's and my shadows

In the evening GF and I finished looking at her photos from a recent trip to Barcelona, Italy, and France.  Very beautiful--I would love to visit.  (I also want to return to Ireland, where we were this past summer--everything green, and DS with no diabetes that we knew of.)  

So, I'm off to bed, maybe to read a little more in the book, and to do some sort of check in.  


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