Tiny White Flowers

Tiny White Flowers

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Tuesday Musings

I'm guessing this post will be short. I'm short on patience, time, energy. In general.

Yesterday was crazed. Well, actually, much of the past week has been crazed. The bright spot was New Year's Eve with friends. We had good friends over, and a friend we don't see often, who lives on his own, and gets feeling a little isolated. So, we introduced them, and the conversations that ensued were quite worthwhile. And, this lonely friend went on his way feeling a little less so.

*** A couple of days later our good friends took him out to enjoy some local improv. It went well. We were happy to hear that.

Okay, it's interesting how just a little writing can often lighten a mood. Just gotta do it more often.

So, back to yesterday. Well, back to last week, Tuesday specifically. We took the car in, as the heater hasn't worked in two years, and the transmission needed working on. We hoped that by taking it in well before New Year, we'd get it back quickly. Not so. Instead of looking at the heating system first, they took it apart to check the transmission, discovered they didn't have a basic part, and next thing we knew we were looking at getting it back the following Monday. Yesterday.

Now, I'm not a car mechanic, and I don't want to go into all the little details on this. Let's just say we hope to get the car back tomorrow evening. Or Friday morning. That way I wouldn't have to miss my poetry group, which might well be my best link to sanity at this point. It's tough being carless. I get to drive DH's truck, which holds 3. We are a family of 4, so that makes things interesting from time to time, like getting three of us to the ferry.

Yesterday our new mattress and box spring arrived. We replaced our old ones of 16 years. I'm not sure how great they are at this point - we still need to go through the breaking in period (the matresses breaking us in, more like), and then we'll decide how good a decision we made. And because of this, I'm not rushing out to claim the "free" camcorder yet. Not till we're sure. I did okay, not perfect, but I think that was partly due to anticipating last night's test run.

So this meant clearing away clutter from passageways leading to the bedroom, removing pictures from the walls of the stairwell, noticing how dirty the walls look and scrubbing them. Vacuuming, vacuuming. Lots of dust collects under a bed. On the good side, I did find the missing bathroom curtain in my stuff, and put that up.

After washing dishes, I settled in to watch PBS's This Emotional Life, which was very engrossing. I missed the first 20-30 minutes, which I gather was an intro of sorts, and the section on anger. I caught up on the reports on anxiety, ptsd, and depression. Interesting that I'd never really though of depression as being a physical disease, with mental effects. Makes sense, as the hippocampus is reduced in those suffering from depression. It seems that some of the meds actually spark cell growth and brain repair. I knew that on one level, but not to the extent of what I learned last night. It was a very engaging, informative program. And, as an anxiety sufferer, one in a seemingly long line of them, it was 'good' to hear, once again, that I'm not alone, and that there are actually things that can help. It was also good to hear again that you don't have to think you should be able to "fix" you condition by yourself, and that it is really okay to rely on help. Having reminders of that, once in awhile, is necessary.

One thing that did really speak to me, even though I've never experienced it, was the different world of two men suffering from ptsd. One, after 30 years (he was in Viet Nam), sought yet another treatment, which, happy to say, worked this time. He was so happy. The treatment? Sessions in which he had to face over and over again his nightmares until he got to the point where he could deal with them in a different light. The other man was younger, had a wife and two little kids, and couldn't hold a job. He would relive the same awful moments over and over as well, but didn't seek treatment. He said he wasn't afraid of facing his visions, but that he wasn't ready to deal with treatment. The first guy wisely said that being macho doesn't get you anywhere. You've just got to let that go, and get the help you need. He said he'd gotten his life back.

To learn more about the program I watched:


and on Facebook:


Oh, and one of my favorite Saturday morning shows on NPR - Car Talk


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Okay, that went on longer than I'd expected! I'm off to make dinner. I feel better now. Thanks for listening~

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