Artist's Way Journal - Week One, Day Five

What are my duties this week?  Morning Pages are not happening the way I think they are meant to, i.e. every day.  In the morning.  What should I be doing? 

I am going to take my Artist Date tomorrow.  I don’t know where yet, only that I need to not let it go, like I do many other things that are important to *me.*  I tend to pass on some invitations or events simply because it might look at home like I’m doing too much stuff, just for me.  So I turn down invites from friends, or bow out in the last minute from workshops, appts. for things like massages and haircuts, so that I’m home doing the things I really should be doing.

I'm finding it difficult to get the writing in.  When I had the time during the day I spent it playing with my other blog.  Also making bread and yogurt, which is fine.  But now I'm getting irritated and frustrated by everything: the economy, work and/or the lack thereof, the election process, the energies of those near and dear to me--it's all out there, and it's bugging me.  I feel like I need a big break.  To go away for a few days, and just be by myself!

Now all I'm doing is complaining.  This, to me, doesn't sound productive at all.  And because I've been up all day, busy with this that and the other, or, truthfully, busy procrastinating from my writing duties, so now this nice stream of consciousness writing just isn't going the right way.  More complaining.  Yikes!

Is it my Censor telling me I need to be better about budgeting my time?  Maybe I'm already afraid to address the issue.  If I write, I am being negligent in some other area.  If I don't write, I'm neglecting my writing.  I want to be good about both areas of my life, so that means reevaluating some of my other time consuming activities to see what could give.

I'm going to make this short tonight, and try to get into a morning habit tomorrow morning.  Although, if I don't, I hope I have the strength to cut myself a little slack, knowing that I'll do *something* at least.  And twelve weeks later, when I read through all of this journey, maybe, just maybe I'll have made some moves in a positive direction.  Here's to inspiration.

Got two rejections this week--one from Dark Horse, and the other from Alaska Quarterly Review.  On the plus side, I did get an acceptance from Crannog, in Galway, Ireland.  Wish I could attend the reading in October!  I miss Ireland, and hope someday to do a retreat there.  Just me, myself, and I.

--R