I've also discovered that it's damn hard to get up before everyone else in the morning! If I get up now, I will refuse a romantic interlude. If I get up now, I will still be too tired later on. I think the latter is more excuse that could be ignored. Not the first one. Stay for the romantic interlude, write later. = ) Might be good for creativity.
Did I write about this before? (Remember, I'm not supposed to go back and reread my daily writing until way later.) I've discovered that, especially when I'm typing, my typos can lead to interesting (for me) things to think about. For instance, more often than not, when I type the word "good" it turns out "god." And a moment ago, typing the word "good" I got "food" instead. Both are interesting to me. "God" is "good" and "good" is "food." Not to mention that when I wrote "Might be good for creativity," it first read, "Might be food for creativity." Both are true.
The same thing can happen when I write in longhand. I will go back and reread and find typos even then. Can't come up with examples right now, but they're there.
So, why was it easier for me to come up with champions of my creative self-worth? Maybe because I'm happier to remember, or think about them? And I'm still not really ready to talk about the stiflers. On the other hand, I did realise that two of the stiflers I came up with are also champions, too. How does that work? Well, thinking about it, it does make sense in a way. When the going is good, they are happy about it for me, especially when it involves money. *Money balances time spent.* So, it's partly about the money. Time is the other issue. *Time spent being creative is time taken away from time needed to do other things.* Well, you can't put a money value on time, I'm sorry. It's priceless, in my book.
So why do I still feel guilty about that? Probably it all comes back to procrastination. I procrastinate getting my home-work done, and I procrastinate in getting my writing done. This shows up in the form of time spent looking stuff up on the computer, e-mail, blogging, configuring something, etc. Maybe the computer is one of my enemies. It is also an enabler. I will not go so far as to call it a champion. And probably I can't call it an enemy. I'm in control here, right?
It's now becoming noisy. The Car Guys are on, the paper is rustling, hot coffee is being sipped, F wants to eat something other than what we have on hand... it's hard to find quiet. Knowing that should be all the more incentive to take the quiet times when I have them, and put them to good use! Make it a priority to write for a portion of that time, do some chores, and then see what time I have left over for "looking stuff up." Days when I do that, I ultimately feel much better. I can breathe more fully.
Today is my first Artist Date. Where will I go? I haven't the foggiest idea. I could go to a gallery, and maybe I'll try to find one nearby. Perhaps something Native American, of which there is a bit around here. I don't know yet what I'm in the mood for. Julia is right in her book, the Date can be tough to do! This reminds me that I feel the same about my birthday, too. It is so hard to come up with something to do on that day. I get so stewed about planning something special, and then I go in the opposite direction and ignore the whole thing, so that, by the time my birthday rolls around, I haven't got it together. Sometimes I'm able to cobble something together and make it a worthwhile day, other times it's more stressful than I would like, and I find myself looking forward to the next day. Birthday done, on with life.
Maybe that means that I need to learn to be more patient, to be happy with what comes spontaneously. So, we'll see what happens today.
Well, that's good for now. Maybe I'll check in later, maybe I won't.
--R
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